Sex is an integral part of every relationship and it is also a common issue between partners. Many men complain that their female partner is never in the mood while many women complain that men just think about it too much and only want to have sex. While both men and women enjoy sex, the way their brains function and their libidos work are completely different.
So How does a Man’s Libido Function?
Fast Facts:
- Men think about sex at least one time a day
- Men fantasize about sex at least 2x’s as often as women do
- Men become sexually aroused spontaneously more often than women
- Men’s libidos are more easily affected by drugs and medications
- Men will hit their sexual peak in their 20’s
There have been a variety of studies done on men’s sex drives and almost all of them have the same conclusions: men think about sex more. Men not only fantasize more about sex, but they also seek out sex even when it is disapproved (such as by paying for prostitutes). Since men have a stronger and more direct sex drive, they are also less likely to be negatively affected by things such as emotions and social pressures.
What Causes Men to Lose Libido?
Man people attribute loss of libido to age, however this is a myth. Loss of libido can arise from multiple issues that become more prevalent as men age however, but the direct aging process should not have an effect on a normal man’s libido.
Stress – Children, jobs, and other obligations often take a huge toll on a man’s libido. The more stress a man feels, the less likely he will be to want to have sex or to even think about sex. Take work related stress for example; if a man feels as if he is failing at work or not performing as well, then his self-worth declines and he will not desire sex as much.
Medications – Prescription medications often have negative impacts on a man’s sexual performance and can cause conditions such as ED. If a man has erectile dysfunction then he will avoid sex because of embarrassment and lowered self-esteem which will also result in a loss of libido.
Sexual anxiety – Unlike regular stress, performance anxiety affects men who have a fear of ejaculating too early or not pleasing their partner. If a man constantly fears premature ejaculation and a failed performance then they will inadvertently avoid sex and their libido will also be lowered.
Health – Chronic diseases such as cancer, CHF, and even depression can banish any thoughts of sex. Additionally acute conditions will also cause a significant amount of distraction for men and their sex drive will be greatly reduced.
So What About Women’s Libidos?
Fast Facts
- Women become more aroused when there is an emotional connection
- Women hit their sexual peak in their 30’s
- Women masturbate less than men
- Women are less likely to admit they masturbate
- Women’s libidos are affected less by medications
- Women are more influenced by social expectations and pressures
- Loss of libido in women is more common than in men
Women’s sex drives are much more complicated than men’s and there have been a variety of studies done to pinpoint the determining factors but none have been too successful. Since women are more likely to lose their
sex drive than men, knowing the causes may help rectify the situation and help the woman regain her libido and even increase it!
What Causes Women to Lose Their Sex Drive?
Childbirth – One of the biggest killers of a woman’s libido is childbirth. After the child is born the parents are going to be exceptionally busy feeding it and tending to its needs. This decreased time to think about sex results in a lowered sex drive for women. Additionally many women have hormonal changes due to the pregnancy which leads to the next reason why women lose their sex drive.
Hormonal imbalances – Women’s hormones are one of the biggest problems since they constantly fluctuate each month as well as during pregnancy, menopause, and post menopause. Hormonal imbalances are very common and can result in the woman being easily agitated, depressed, and can cause her to have a lowered libido.
Common medical problems – Depression, anxiety, diabetes, and other medical problems can easily result in a lowered sex drive. Additionally females are more prone to anemia due to their monthly period which can make the female tired, lethargic, have a shortness of breath, and they may even be dizzy.
Previous sexual problems – Since females are more likely to be sexually abused than males, the issue of previous rape and sexual assault can greatly reduce a woman’s libido. Sex may not even be desirable for a rape victim and the mental and physical scars left behind after a sexual assault can last for years.
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